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Oct

Home again home again jiggity jig

Categories: Travel and work

I am back from Atlanta.

The trip was a success. Work went well enough and I saw old friends, one of which I hadn’t seen in over 20 years. Seems he remembers me as a 4 year old following him around and sneezing on him. I didn’t sneeze on him this time.

Work went so well that we headed to the airport (9 hours early) in hopes of getting on an earlier flight. Luckily, there seems to be a flight from Atlanta to DC every hour so it was easy to get things changed… For a small fee. It’s interesting how so many people are in a rush and this girl behind me kept pushing to get up to security and we weren’t walking fast enough for her. As we got closer a TSA agent was herding people evenly into lines and yelling out that there were three lines. As I came upon him I smiled, and half jokingly, said please direct me to the shortest line.

He said, “You want the shortest line? Follow me“

He took us in the opposite direction of everyone else and directed us to a corridor. I could feel everyone’s eyes watching us. I looked at him and said, “Really?”

He said, “Have I ever lied to you?”

I just shot him a funny little smile as I walked in the direction he sent us.

He said, “Those who cannot trust cannot be trusted.”

Ok… Good point! So I went and you know what I found? It was completely empty!

Now this is where I learned a valuable lesson. I should have moved up immediately because this old couple walked around and stepped in front of me as I was taking my shoes off and my laptop out and held up the entire line as TSA had to get them to take off their shoes, belt, jacket and so forth. The wife was carrying 24 oz of body oil in her bag and couldn’t understand why her purse wasn’t coming out on the conveyor belt. It became a cluster fuck and I paid for it because I didn’t move up. Oh well we still made it through before the girl who was rushing to get through security back in the long line.

Google Boy and I were waiting to board tha plane and this chick sat near us. She would snif very hard and you could hear the mucus roll around in her head before she swallowed. It was making me naush. I mention to Google Boy that with my luck she would be sitting right next to me on the plane.

I also noticed quite a few young’uns wearing hats that said DCFD. I wonder if they had some sort of convention but ALL of them looked very young.

I happened to be one of the first people on the plane and settled myself in and started reading. I noticed snot girl coming down the isle and started praying. Thankfully, she walked right past me. Next came the firefighters and quite a few moved to the back to sit together but a few stragglers were in other areas and I think it must have been the tallest one that sat next to me.

I couldn’t help it and asked if they had some sort of convention but they had just come from a week of training in Alabama. Seems they aren’t full fledged official firefighters yet and have been going through a lot of training. Being they are firefighters in the Nations Capital there is some specialized training they need that other firefighters don’t have to go through. Tall boy told me they had about twenty of them on that flight and I got the impression there were more meaning DCFD is in the midst of gettin quite an influx of new firefighters.

As we sat on the runway waiting for our turn to take off… Delayed because of rain… I was looking ahead in the plane and all these firefighters. I could help but think, if it were inevitable that I would one day be on a plane that went down and I had my choice I would want it to be this flight. Because with so many firefighters they are all prepared for way more than anyone else. I surely would be saved.

Then again I overheard how hard they trained and how hard they partied so they may not have been at their best in a disaster situation, eh?

May

No Concentration… AT ALL!! Update

By Red 5 Comments

Categories: famous, movies, odd people and work

All of us are finding it a bit difficult to concentrate today. It is now 2:00 and no word yet on the RIFs.

Tensions are high and that seems to flowing into all sorts of other areas.

Then I noticed on Twitter that Dom DeLuise passed yesterday. So sad! He was only 75 but was suffering from kidney failure and respiratory issues.

We all started talking about this over the cubes and got us very easily disrupted us since it’s so difficult to concentrate anyhow.

This then led to a discussion of stars and plastic surgery starting with Burt Reynolds, since he is who you think of in conjunction with Dom DeLuise and those Cannonball Movies. burt

The discussion turned to Kenny Rogers and Roy Schneider’s bad plastic surgery. kenny-rogers-face-lift

Then someone said that Darryl Hannah had plastic surgery which led to this awful photo and somehow I came across an article on famous people who are borderline austistic.

Oh and then there was the discussion that Kelly McGillis recently came out in an article with SheWired.com. Kelly Reminds me of Kathleen Turner who has aged HORRIBLY! If you saw her in “Marley and Me” then you know what I’m talking about.

See what happens when you can’t concentrate!

**UPDATE**
I still have my job but many good people are leaving. It is very sad at work this week. Keep those who have lost their jobs in your prayers. It is happening too much lately and NO ONE is immune. Not even IT.

Dec

One good turn deserves another

By Red 2 Comments

Categories: holidays and work

After elfing my team and putting them all over my walls a co-worker elfed me.

elf

*Photo Credit: Gjergi

Dec

Holiday + Work + Friends = CrazyDay

By Red 1 Comment

Categories: Squirrely Gurl, friends, holidays and work

Yesterday was such a crazy day. I figured it would be but it can still be difficult to prepare for.

We had potluck and the cube decorating contest at work. I got third place for my decorations and was surprised to get that because I had elfed my director along with the rest of my team and placed them all over my walls. I found it all very amusing because decorating the cube really isn’t my thing and I don’t know what got into me. My original plan was to Photoshop my Director, as Santa, print it out on one of the plotters so I could hang it outside my cube. There just wasn’t enough time and he was grateful for that but I’ve threatened to make him Cupid for Valentine’s Day.

: My Cube

: Inside The Cube

: The Elves

I left work and headed to Old Town Alexandria to be Squirrely’s Gurl’s guest for her Holiday Party on a Riverboat… Casino style. It just happens it’s my former company’s party so I knew most of the people there. Hardly saw Squirrely Gurl at all while I reconnected with old co-workers. Tried my hand at Craps but just wasn’t getting it.

The boat docked around 9PM and Squirrely Gurl and I headed to Flanagan’s Harp and Fiddle in Bethesda to see/hear

Scythian. Mrs. M and her crew were already there and as Squirrely Gurl and I pulled up we saw Shortie heading in with two boys. Who are those boys? We found Rock Star parking and headed in to join everyone. The crowd was rocking and everyone was having a great time. I loved it! Scythian really knows how to rock the house Celtic Holiday style. A good time was had by all and I have to say my favorite part of the entire day was bumping into someone I hadn’t seen in a long time and meeting his son. It was too brief but it was great to see you!

It was getting late and the day had been full so I made sure Squirrely Gurl had a way home and I called it an evening.

This morning I got the following email from Shortie on the rest of the evening after I left.

“So I will set this all up for ya.

You bring in all of Squirrely Gurl’s stuff, plus the shoes and are on your way. This tall well dressed bald man comes up to me and starts talking. Tells me I am very attractive, yada yada…. Wants to know my name (I tell him Tall Girl), wants to know where I live (he guesses Arlington, weird) and what I do….I tell him IT, he calls me a computer geek. So he asks if he can take me out some time and if I am single. He asks for my number, then email, and then gives me his card. All the while Squirrely Gurl and I are making faces at each other (while she is trying not to fall off the stool). God only knows where Boy1 and Boy2 are, but I know they are watching this whole thing. Turns out he is a piano teacher….not what I was expecting but hey. So one of his friends comes over (Scythian has gone a little country on us) and the dude starts clogging or something. All I noticed was the 80s loafers and the red socks. He is swing and groovin all over the place. Arms and hands coming dangerously close to whacking Boy1 and Boy2 who have been up against the windows. The next song comes on “The Kiss”, I tell Squirrely Gurl and the boys we can leave right after this is done. So I am standing there doing my thing when another dude grabs me and starts twirling me. Really, what! Next the creepy guy with the long hair comes by, stops, backs up and looks at me. He goes, “you look happier tonight”. I say, “I have friends with me tonight.”

It is time to get the hell out.

Leave Harp and Fiddle. Squirrely Gurl is searching through her stuff cause she can’t find her phone (oh no, not the phone). The boys are half a block a head and Boy1 is singing, badly at the top of his lungs. Squirrely Gurl, thank God, finds her phone. We get to the car….and it starts. The boys are singing and quoting Frost, Shakespeare and I think they think Thoreau. So we are heading back, I’m following my GPS, cause I want to avoid G-Town tonight. We pull up to a light, the guys next to us are dancing, and I lock the windows. Squirrely Gurl, Boy1 and Boy2 all want to put the windows down so they can, I have no idea, talk, make fun, yell……who knows. So we are heading down Mass or Conn Ave and the boys are giving me turn by light by car directions….wonderful. Heading towards Dupont Circle. Get up to the circle, construction, no circle access. U-turn back up the street. Don’t know what I am going to do…..make a right go down a few blocks, make a right head back into the city…..F@#$% A back at the freakin circle, and sorta blocked again. The peanut gallery has figured it out too and is cursing the construction and as Adam would say “kirking out”. I go left, the opposite way on the circle to get around the cones and back on to the circle. Thank goodness, now we can keep moving. Boy1 who hasn’t been in DC in a very long time is being a complete tourist, loving every building we pass. We get on 14th and he sees the Washington monument. Gets waaaaaaay too excited. So Squirrely Gurl and I point out that coming up on the left he will be able to see the capital. I thought he was going to get out of the car (good thing my car auto locks everyone in). We are on 1 heading toward Squirrely Gurl’s when everyone announces they have to pee…..great, can you hold it 15 minutes more……sure. Get to Squirrely Gurl’s, the boys are doing their pee pee dance and ask to use Squirrely Gurl’s…..everyone out.

I have to say that has been one of the more interesting drives home. Squirrely Gurl was cracking me up and the boys were in their own world. I felt like a mother on carpool duty. Home by 2 am and to work before 8 am, I am going to need a nap this afternoon. TGIF.

We need to hang out more……maybe after Christmas. I will be home on the 28th and I have no plans for the rest of the so called holiday season…..
Love ya, miss ya
Shortie“

One of the best things I did to prepare for last night was to bring a change of shoes. It was a wonderfully full day but I woke up this morning to the realization that my stomach doesn’t quite agree and my feet are mad because I didn’t switch to the flats soon enough. Working will be difficult today.

Note: Be sure to check back for photos to be added

Oct

What my office needs…

By Red 4 Comments

Categories: alcohol and work

An expense report has already been submitted stating it’s for “Strategic Planning“.

Oct

Goatee: Poll 2008

By Red 3 Comments

Categories: work
Tags: poll

My co-worker walked in this morning and shocked us all. He shaved his goatee.

Someone said he looked ten years younger.

He is trying to decide if he likes it or not. He figures if he wants to grow it back he could do it easily over the three day weekend coming up.

I told him I would post it here and we could take a poll to help him decide.

Before (with goatee):

After (shaved):

Sep

Certifiable!

By Red 1 Comment

Categories: Mini Red and work

Last week I was in a class for three days doing some serious studying so I could pass my ITIL Foundations Certification.

When I first started with this company back in December that was one of the first things I heard about. “The ITIL Way” was new to me back then. So I took the course early on and I had two things working against me then. I was brand, spanking, new to this HUGE company and I was horribly sick for my first two months here. This was when I first tried to learn ITIL. so I’m sure you can guess how that all went. Evidently, I wasn’t the first to take the course and not pass. I was devastated none-the-less.

Work has been extremely busy since then and I was finally able to sign up to take the course again… Last week. I definitely understand all the concepts of “The ITIL Way” but taking tests is not my fortay plus this exam comes from the UK and their word choices aren’t exactly like ours.

The first day of classes was a bit frustrating and nerve wracking but the instructor assured us it would all come together by the second day. Both nights I studied and worked on memorization but the second night Minnie Red had gotten herself into a heap of trouble. I had already taken the TV from her room because I really don’t see the purpose plus its a distraction. Last Wednesday I took her computer and her cell phone. The purpose for the phone is when she visits her Dad and I had been warning her that she could lose it if she doesn’t shape up.

Losing the cell phone left her wailing like a banshee. I maintained my cool for a while but my breaking point hit especially because she was keeping me from studying. My redhead temper came out… Oye! Unfortunately, it didn’t scare her because in the apartment I won’t yell like I might in the car and believe me I can yell.

Minnie Red is just being a typical teenager and I’m not going to continue with some of the silliness she is bringing. Mom is taking her down a notch or at least trying because she is one STUBBORN girl.

So come Thursday morning I was tired and hadn’t done my practice test. I figured I was doomed to fail. I got to the classroom and promptly took the practice exam cold. Passed! Not by a lot but it was passing. class started for the day and by noon we took a second exam… Passed! Still not by a lot but slightly better than the first exam. By one thirty the proctor arrive to administer the exam and by two we were working it out. I didn’t take the full hour for the 40 question exam and nervously turned it in.

I couldn’t help but worry what would happen if I didn’t pass this time. I hadn’t heard of anyone going back for a third time.

Today the email came with my results:

PASSED!

Thank goodness!

I can’t tell you what a relief that is and I did better than I had done on either of the practice exams. So I am now ITIL Certified but I like to just say I’m Certifiable.

Jul

It’s only 11:30!

By Red 4 Comments

Categories: work

… and this is how I’m feeling about work today…

Jul

To be honest… its been a crap week

By Red 3 Comments

Categories: Beach, family and work

Last weekend was spent at the convent visiting Aunt Dot. Now don’t get me wrong or call me some bad person because I HATE being at the convent. I fully understand that it makes Aunt Dot happy and even though I81 is a beautiful… The other drivers are not. I would rather be at the beach either sleeping or drinking.

I took Aunt Dot all sorts of things that put a smile on her face and Minnie Red and I stayed by her side from the time we arrived until we left. We attended two masses with her and names have been placed in The Book, of people the nuns pray for, as requested and for my own good. We almost saw a few nun fights, which made the trip well worth it. Nothing like seeing some really old religious chicks threatening to punch or shoot each other, especially when they can barely walk or not walk at all for that matter.

By the time I got to work Monday morning my body was hurting due to the uncomfortable sleeping conditions at the convent, not-to-mention the lack of hot water. Plus I must have been griting my teeth because my jaw was killing me.

The best thing about Monday was going over to a Mrs. M’s house to stuff envelopes for a bridal shower we were working on. Mr. and Mrs. M have a frozen margarita machine so the plan was he would fix the drinks while we stuffed the envelopes. The envelopes were done withing 20 minutes but I didn’t leave until almost 2 hours and several margaritas later. My jaw was finally feeling better.

Tuesday, was the happy hour and I got to see some people I haven’t seen in a while. It was a small group but everyone seemed to have a good time and I was pleased with the happy hour prices.

Wednesday, was when the poop hit the fan at work. It’s a lot of blah blah blah and some panic and in the end a shit load of work for my team. This also means working this weekend… Crap! So after work I took Minnie Red to see Hancock because there’s no sense in stressing, right? I then worked that night in hopes it would help me finish early on Thursday so I could head to the beach as early as possible to avoid traffic.

Thursday, I worked from home and nothing got completed as planned. I dropped a load of money on four new tires and they tried to get me to spend another load on more work. They are, of course, mechanics and I am, of course, a woman so you know how that goes. At work there were all sorts of oddities that needed trouble shooting and I tried to pack in between them. I just couldn’t seem to get away from work and so the poop that exploded on Wednesday was still hanging in limbo. I was finally able to pull away around three and feared the drive would be bad but I hoped for the best.

It took two hours just to get to Annapolis and the three hour drive took four and a half, but I was just happy to be there. I arrived just as Brotha-Man and SIL were putting the King to bed so I kissed him goodnight and took a pull on the kegerator. Ahh time to wash the week away even though I knew I would be working while here at the beach.

I was asleep by 10 but I had forgotten about the alarm on my cell phone. That was it and I was awake and it was 5am. I couldn’t help but think about all the work I had to do. Granted the data that needed cleaning had been cut back to only 40,000 but last time it was cut close because it took two weeks to clean 5,000. So I was thinking about all this work and there’s a big party in Bethany on Saturday and I wasn’t going to miss it. Our VP said no one was to work on the 4th but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. So now it’s 5:30am and I’m out of bed, before the King even. I’m trying to be very quiet so I set myself up out on the balcony and I start this gawd awful tedious task.

I missed the King’s first walk on the boards, I missed beach time, and I missed nap time. By the time the crabs arrived I had worked straight through and the data was cleaned and is now ready to be organized before sending to the programmers to be imported. The crabs were hot and the beer was cold so I didn’t even bother to change out of my pjs, that I had been working in all day. At least I was in a tank because I looked as if I had been sitting on the beach and I have the sunburn to prove it.

The crabs were delicious! So was the beer for that matter… and still is. By the time I called it quits with the crabs I took a nice shower and played with the King. He was put in his jammies and Auntie Red rocked him to sleep.

It may have been a crap week and a tough day of work but that little boy falling asleep in my arms washes all the crap away and makes me a happy Auntie.

Happy 4th of July!

May

Hair of the Dawg

By Red 1 Comment

Categories: alcohol and work

Last night we had a Happy Hour for a co-worker who is leaving us. He is moving to Tokyo, where his wife is from, to take care of his Mother-In-Law. The HH was a success and many showed up.

This morning everyone is in since it’s his last day and we are all flocking around each other cubes discussing the previous evening events.

But before we get to that Mouse tells she woke up at 5am to find her husband in the bathroom dialing on the house phone. She can’t figure out who he would be calling at 5am and I immediately think she’s going to tell us he was sleep-walking.

She knocks on the door and asks him if he is ok and he responds very grumbly. She walks in and sees that he is looking very tired yet concerned. He tells her he is dialing his cell phone because he believes he flushed it down the toilet. That when they heard the muffled ringing of his cell phone, which seems to be stuck in the pipe. Just then the alarm on his phone goes off and they can hear it resonating through the pipes and Mouse become concerned the alarm will wake the neighbors downstairs.

Mouse goes and gets the plunger and attempts to suck the phone back out. All the while she is laughing hysterically. Her hubby is getting frustrated and tells her to stop because the plunging will push the phone deeper. I don’t think her laughing was helping the situation but she couldn’t help it.

Mouse left the plunging and called “Equipment Replacement” about the situation and to get her hubby a new phone. They told her to make sure to turn the phone off because it could spark. She said, “I can’t turn the phone off because it is stuck in the toilet!“

So as Mouse finishes this hilarious story more co-workers flocked to my cube. We were talking about the previous evening events. We got to meet Salmon’s girlfriend at the HH but she wasn’t feeling well. I said, “She just needed a little bit-o-the hair of the dawg“.

That’s when Mrs. Instigator said, “What? Oh no! She was bit by a dog?!?!?! Is she ok?”

I could hear my boss laughing from the other cube and I lost it. Tears were rolling down my face and I turned several shades of red. I couldn’t even catch my breath to explain that hair of the dog refers to having more alcohol to relieve the hangover from the previous night’s alcohol consumption.

This is starting out to be a fantastic day.