Life of Red

I got a text message the other day and in it this guy called me “Babe“.

It struck a bit of a chord in me because I like it. I got to thinking about this, so-called, term of endearment and started to search my brain as to why I liked it.

Last year I started dating this guy and he called me “Babe” but quickly asked, “Do you mind that I call you Babe? Does it offend you?” It didn’t offend me and was a bit of a turn on actually. I never quite got to the point of calling him “Babe” or any nickname for that matter. The whole thing didn’t last that long anyhow.

I’m a bit surprised that I like this term since I have such issues with names. I don’t like to say my ex-husbands name because I feel it validates his existence. Friends have laughed and foretold of a date’s demise by my prematurely nicknaming him.

Friend: “Any dates this weekend?”
Me: “Yeah with The Cowboy.”
Friend: “You already nicknamed him. He’s doomed.”

I guess a nickname is different from a term of endearment, but then that would beg the question: What are the terms in which a person would use a term of endearment with you? How well should you know a person?

I did a Google search to see what others said or thought…

This turned up some interesting conversations out there:

On Yahoo:
     “…But I would not suggest that you try to get back at them by calling them “babe” because that term almost has a sexual connotation. It is a term of very familiar relationship…”

     “There’s a guy at work who calls me “Darlin” but it doesn’t bother me… Then again, if he was a guy I thought was creepy than it probably would though. It all depends on the situation and the person to whom you’re giving a “pet name”. Some people don’t appreciate names like that in any form.”

     “Never call a woman “babe” unless you’re enjoying an intimate relationship with her. “Babe” has some strong sexual connotations, so its use is best left to bedroom scenarious. Just call a woman by her name. People love to hear their names far more than they like to hear any “terms of endearment”.”

On Chinese Democracy:
     “I don’t like it. I never call people it and I don’t like being called it. I just call people by their names, if I’m in a relationship I may call them ‘Lamb Chop’ or ‘Sugar Tits’ for a joke once in a while but that’s it.”

Then there was even more on Yelp:

Reading these conversations revealed a lot to me starting with the point that “Babe” is familiarity of a sexual nature. Not liking that term if the person delivering it is creepy or unwanted is a case where it can be offensive. Those, I think, are key points that some don’t get because they are the creepy and unwanted.

Just the other day I was IMing with two different dudes on Match and both called me “Sexy”. WTF? You don’t know me well enough to call me “Sexy”! Yes I am, but all you know is my profile and that ain’t much. One asked me if I preferred “Cutie” or “Sexy” and I told him he could use cutie until he knew me better. That’s if he got the chance to know me better but I felt I needed to set him straight yet I still felt “Cutie” was condescending… From him.

“Sugar”, “Honey”, “Sweetie” or “Dear” are words women tend to use. You won’t hear many men throwing those terms around. When a younger woman calls me by one of those names I wanna just slap her because it seems so forced as if she is trying to put herself in a position of Alpha female over me. Then there are cases when an older endearing woman uses it and its fine with me. I’ve found myself using “Sweetie” with smaller children and even stopped for a minute to think about it but it was just so natural and that was only with small children… Not even teenagers.

I’d have to say… If you are going to use a term of endearment to a stranger or any of the mentioned above you best be confident in using it otherwise offense will be taken. For me to be called “Babe” in the right situation, such as the text message I first mentioned, could end in a wonderful result… for me… and possibly him.